Scribe of Slog
 
About Me   .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address)   Friday, May 24, 2013 ∙ 12:39 pm EDT


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© 2013 McGehee

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Canary: “It’s not polite to stare.”

Me: “I’m sorry. It’s just that I’ve never seen a canary so huge.”

Canary:

Me: “I didn’t mean to embarrass you…”

Canary: “I can’t help it!”

Me: “Oh, don’t cry.”

Canary: “I have a condition!”

Read more...

 

humor



© 2013 McGehee

3 comments


A turtle appeared on our front sidewalk this morning.

I haven’t gone looking to identify the species but I don’t think it’s the same kind as the donor of the much smaller empty turtle shell Wife of Slog found down by the pond last July. That one was not as domed, unless I misremember. Anyway, she’s also the one who noticed this six-inches-or-so-long specimen. It tolerated our inspection until we both went inside, then trundled across the lawn and under an azalea bush while I watched through a window.

Now I wonder if these might be the critters responsible for the occasional scattered diggings in the front yard. I knew we had toads out there but I didn’t think they did that kind of thing.

One day a while back I opened the garage door and almost immediately a toad (I assume, since there’s no standing water near the house) went galloping into the garage and under my truck where I couldn’t find him. I closed the door and forgot about it until he started singing, loud enough to be heard over the TV. So I raised the garage door about a foot and left it that way for a while—the garage has been quiet since then so I’ve concluded he took the opportunity to vamoose. And while mowing last weekend I scared up a few toads that had been hiding in the tall grass; they fled into the bushes under the eaves.

Anyway, I guess if the hoppers around the house ought to be toads, then this turtley visitor must be a tortoise. Beyond that, I (temporarily) plead ignorance.

Update, minutes later: Methinks ‘tis a female eastern box turtle.
 

Dividing by Zero The Freehold



© 2013 McGehee

2 comments


This complex of scandals doesn’t need a cutesy name. “Obama” is the only name you need.

One of the reasons scandals have had such lenient consequences over the last 40 years has been the tendency in the media—including, now, the new media—to assign scandals names that have the effect of minimizing their importance.

When everything is a “-gate” or some such, you’re encouraging people to look at the new scandal as following the same progression as bad movie franchises: the original was a big deal, but the quality diminishes with each numbered sequel. To say that “-gate” has jumped the shark is almost too apt.

So now there’s a Twitter hashtag, #ObamaScandalNames. They’re trying to be funny, and there’s nothing wrong with that—but I don’t feel like laughing it off today.

Call them “the Obama scandals.” That tells people all they need to know.
 

1773 Corrupt Bastards Barack Milhous Omerta



© 2013 McGehee


From this tweet.
 

Corrupt Bastards Barack Milhous Omerta



© 2013 McGehee

8 comments


Finally got my riding mower back yesterday afternoon, and had time to de-jungle-fy the inner front yard (as distinct from the pasture land that lies between that and the road).

With only a riding mower for the time being—because the self-propelled walk-behind was irreparable—and the dog-run fence in the back yard not having wide gates to drive the riding mower through, I’ll have to shift fence panels to tame that area. Hopefully that will only be a this-summer thing.

And of course there is the aforementioned front pasture, and various other scattered areas to keep under control, such as pondside (though Buddy, our neighbor, has been mowing that since at least last summer). Much as I want to tackle the pasture though, I need to do the dog run first. It’s one thing to give Lucy her flea and tick treatments to protect her but since no such treatment exists for humans apparently, we can’t use the back yard while it’s in that condition.

Of course, today the moisture and instability that set off the storms Wife of Slog and her classmates chased in west Texas on Thursday, have reached subtropical west Georgia, so we’re expecting scattered thunderstorms. Plus, the day after I’ve mowed is generally when I start to experience allergy symptoms, if I’m going to.

If I’m lucky, the delay in getting the mower back may turn out to have spared me, or maybe for once the preventive dose of Claritin will actually work.

Update, Monday morning: The shifting of fence panels ceased to be an option at Castle McGehee because grass thatch eventually secured the bottom rails of the panels to the ground; even for the purpose of removing them there to bring and set up here, getting them unhitched from the ground required detaching the panels from one another so that I could get the necessary leverage. Fortunately the panels haven’t been in place long enough here for that to be a problem. In fact, mowing the dog run went so smoothly yesterday that I continued on to the front field with only a brief pause to refuel and double-check the tires.

There is simply no way, though, that I’m turning all of that acreage into a lawn. First, I don’t believe in big front lawns. Second, the plant life out there is so varied that even if I wanted to make it all look like a golf course I couldn’t without investing years of work (see “First”). So, I’m approaching that expanse as a matter of ecosystem management rather than landscape design; the idea is to prevent the grassland from becoming forest, nothing more. And I took down a lot of oak and pine seedlings yesterday. Oh, and the thistles? Eh, they’ll grow back. They’re stubborn that way.

Though, I do plan to time the last mowing of fall after the seed heads have finished growing, so I can knock them down to make the spring’s wildflowers more prominent.
 

Dividing by Zero



© 2013 McGehee


Then again, I’m the one who was scrolling through the list of the top new free apps in the Android app store that Google a while back absurdly renamed “Play.”

Somewhere way down the list I saw a Super Mario ripoff game in which the mustachioed plumber is replaced by Barack Obama. A couple of scrolls further down was “Kick the Obama,” which I gather to be like the 2004 “Slap the Candidates” game I remember loving so much, except that apparently only Obama is available to abuse. Personally I’d rather get to kick Harry Reid’s face as well, or John McCain’s keister.

On both games there were, as you might imagine, reviews that addressed the political slant expressed by their respective themes, but most dealt with quality—game play, ad density, and the like.

Remember when subjecting the President of the United States to cartoonish violence was the epitome of (before 2009) patriotism / (after 2009) treason?

Maybe we’re almost back on an even keel. Maybe.
 

Dividing by Zero



© 2013 McGehee

4 comments


I have never received a legitimate email from a .biz address. What I have gotten, is a lot of spam.

The great thing about having your own email domain controls is, you can write your own filters onto the server. So, effective now, .biz emails will be merde-canned before they reach my inbox.

I expect any relief to last only until the spammers realize how easy they are to block.
 

Corrupt Bastards Dividing by Zero



© 2013 McGehee

19 comments


Each Man* is an individual before God and before the Law, and is to be judged and to pay the consequences for his own actions and no other’s.

Each Man has the right to live, and to defend his life by whatever means he deems necessary.

Each Man has the right to acquire, own, use and dispose of his own property.

Each Man has the right to adhere to the dictates of his own conscience, to express those dictates, and to order his life after them.

Each Man also has a duty to respect these rights in others, to refrain from infringing them, and to help defend them from infringement. All rightful Law is founded on the protection and aid of these rights and mutual duties.

No Man has, nor can be given, the authority to infringe these rights in others if he does not accept the same infringement of his own. Nor does he have, nor can he be given, the authority to absolve himself nor anyone else of these duties. No Man has, nor can be given, the authority to diminish these true rights by the artifice of declaring new, false rights.

*(A Man is any adult of the species Homo sapiens sapiens, regardless of sex, distinct from the common noun “man” which is the male counterpart of “woman.” Masculine pronouns and possessives are used in this context to apply to both men and women.)

Any questions?
 

1773 The truth begs nobody's pardon



© 2013 McGehee


But a link may be about all I can contribute to Jeff’s fundraiser. A family member got a much-needed operation but immediately learned he needs another, and his $900 co-pay on the first came due.

Because for some reason free health care isn’t as cheap as we’ve been told.

Unexpectedly.
 

1773



© 2013 McGehee


When I was very young, I made one of my schoolteachers laugh when she overheard me tell a friend I was descended from “Irish Indians.”

Turned out I was off by the width of the channel separating the Emerald Isle from Scotland, mainly because at the time I didn’t know (as apparently neither did my father) that our surname was brought here from the latter country.

(If you’re still not getting it, scroll down to my comment at the linked post.)
 

1773 Dividing by Zero The truth begs nobody's pardon


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